Words from my Mom- 1% negative

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You don’t realize how words from a parent may set in your mind. Until once they have slipped passed the lips and onto the child.

Last week as I was laying in the hospital, a nurse had come in to check my vitals. As I watched the nurse asked me what my heritage was and I quietly answered Persian. He said that explains your beautiful eyes. Of course my mom sits up suddenly and says I wonder why people say this to you- I have never noticed your eyes as anything unique, but then I guess I have known you all your life.

Now I think back on this conversation and I wonder why my mom would even say this. I really do not understand if my eyes are unique, but it has been told to me many times. And then I was thinking about the little quirps she would make as I was growing up: how I had no neck, how my hair was wild and woolley (which it is) how I was short etc etc. All these little things as a small child somehow do not leave the mind. And even though I am grown up now I felt as a little child again last week when she said this.

Then it made me ponder if there are things I say that may hinder my kids’ self esteem. I pray not, but I started doubting myself.

I know moms make mistakes, but what are the lasting mistakes that stick with child until they are old adults like myself.

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About m

blessed in life. Nature lover, fly fishing enthusiast, school girl, mother, grandmother, wife, dog lover.
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2 Responses to Words from my Mom- 1% negative

  1. Dear Miss P,
    I am so so sorry that you have grown up being quietly brought down by someone who is supposed to help build you up. But I am glad you are perceptive enough to understand what is happening.

    There are people in life who have such poor self-esteem that the only way they seem to feel good about themselves is to take others down a notch. For a parent to do this is a cardinal sin.

    When someone does that, I call them on it. I say, “I wonder why would you want to say that? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to hurt my feelings.” That either embarrasses them, and they stop doing it, or they become aware that they are doing it, and stop.

    If they say, “That shouldn’t make you feel bad,” you can say, “But it does, so please be aware of it and don’t do it any more.”

    Best wishes, woman with the beautiful eyes! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    • Miss P says:

      Thank you Naomi,

      Very kind and wise words as always. I do understand that this is my mom, and even though it is what she does, it is not right. I am so very careful with my children, probably extreem to the opposite side.

      Thank you

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